I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
I think religion is a neurological disorder.
–Bill Maher

January 20, 1956 – ?

I was half-watching television one late night, mostly flicking through channels to give my restless brain something to light on. On Piers Morgan, I heard Bill’s flesh say OUT LOUD for the Good Lord to hear that he is an actual atheist! Blackbiting aside, this was disturbing, for I genuinely like Bill Maher. I think he’s both witty and wise with a cute, but sneaky boyish look. And it was unbearable thinking that when I arrive in heaven with my entourage, when he puts off his tabernacle, he won’t be present to entertain me into the really beyond.

Now Bill, it is one thing for a Jew to reject Jesus, but to reject the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob? Mercy. And only because you believe that religion is used to control people? Surely, you are not so naive as to believe that you are under no one’s governance.

Because I like you so much, Bill, I would get on my knees for you (not like Stupid Head). Rather, I would talk about you in prayer on my knees to get you to open your eyes. Please read II Peter, all of it. It deals with false teachers, but the revelations are for us all. God and The Christ are not cunningly devised fables, it says. Peter warned of those who walk after the flesh and despise government. Presumptuous are they, self-willed, they are not afraid to speak e-veel of dignities . . . speak e-veel of things that they understand not; and shall utterly perish in their own depravity (II Peter 1:9-12). While you may believe that you have liberty without the governance of God, the Good Book says, you are, in fact, still a servant of the very stuff you feel makes you free (i.e. sex/porn, drugs, shopping, making money, partying, plastic surgery, etc.); for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage (II Peter 17-19).

Is it not better to be “bound” by God? These are the last days and scoffers will walk after their own lusts (II Peter 3:3). We have been warned that “the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night” (II Peter 3:10). I just want you, Bill, (and unbelievers like you) to be prepared.

What about when you hear music? Nothing stirs in your soul? What about when your favorite singer sings that certain note that numbs that one spot in your brain or heart with ecstasy? Like when Carson McCullers writes of Mick: “Wonderful music like this was the worst hurt there could be. The whole world was this symphony, and there was not enough of her to listen.” Still nothing? What about books? Learned people love books. Words do it for me, like when Maya Angelou wrote of her brother’s withdrawal after the loss of his girlfriend, “He closed upon himself like a pond swallowing a stone.”

One of my favorite scriptures is Jeremiah 33:3, which states, “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” It takes no lucubration. Just ask God for a sign that cannot be explained away by science. He will deliver. My mother asked God to make the sun shout–not with voice, but with movement. I’m only trying to get you back to God. (I believe that God Himself will deal with the apple of His eye about Jesus.)

Have you ever seen hundreds of Monarchs (butterflies) lift from a tree and make of themselves orange confetti in the air? Bill, you are a man of wealth. Therefore, you must have seen some incredible sunrises and sunsets during your extensive travels. Is this just science to you? Bill, open your eyes. And live forever. Heaven is the ultimate objective. Hell is a horrible fall-black position. That is to say, Hell is far less satisfactory, but highly acceptable in God’s eyes as a last resort. Pun, indeed, intended.