Octomom needlessly overexposed...

I didn’t want to write this post.  And so, I’ll be brief.  I kept quiet when Suze Orman and Oprah Winfrey on the Oprah Winfrey Show seemed to have more genuine interest in the length of Nadya Suleman’s eyelashes than the welfare of her children.  I’m sure that Oprah in one of her famous acts of benevolence offered her golden help and the Octomom in her agitated state of mind, batted her lashes, and enthusiastically, but foolishly declined.  What’s more aggravating—and what I cannot keep quiet about—is that, for some reason, Oprah and Dr. Phil seem to think that there is some high honor in announcing to America:

“The Octomom did not get paid to do my show.”

Everyone knows that the one thing that a mother of 14 needs (besides a wealthy and patient husband) is more M-O-N-E-Y!  What’s wrong with money?  What’s wrong with paying Nadya Suleman for appearing on your show to promote her porn video?  Why shouldn’t she get paid?  Not paying Nadya Suleman is hypocritical and shameful.  Dr. Phil allegedly paid Dina “Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs” Lohan $50,000 for her moronic interview.  Are we supposed to believe that Dr. Phil, Suze Orman, and Queen Oprah are above abusing and exploiting the Octomom?

Everyone exploits the Octomom.

But here’s the irony.  For a life-altering decision made in the presence of an incompetent doctor during a period of obvious mental decay (on both their parts), Nadya Suleman is still hated.  Viewed as a spectacle of endless entertainment and amusement.

The other little old lady who lives in a shoe who has so many children she doesn’t know what to do, Kate Gosselin, was allowed to write books, appear on shows, and exploit her kids to keep her fridge loaded with popsicles.  All without getting her hands or her soul dirty.

What’s the difference between Kate and Nadya?  In my opinion, nothing.  They both gave the same lame excuse for not frying their extra eggs: “Fetuses are family.”  However, everyone knows that when god blesses you with two healthy kids or six, it is selfish and greedy to grab for more artificially when there are deserving couples who would be thoroughly satisfied with just one child.

The difference between Kate Gosselin and Nadya Suleman then must be that Kate Gosselin’s brand of crazy was more palatable, specifically, more palatable to white women.  For a while, anyway.  Eventually white women realized (like Kate’s husband) that Kate was as asylum worthy as the Octomom.

And yet, no one shows the Octomom any mercy!  Crackheads with a dozen dysfunctional bastards dispersed throughout foster care and angrily destroying property get better treatment than this woman does.  For this reason, (although I’m sure she does not quite need or even understand my pity), I pity Nadya Suleman.

It has always been my personal and private wish that I had the means to settle all of her diaper debts and to secure a safe and comfortable “shoe” big enough for her and her children.  Away from nannies and housekeepers with agendas.  Before the wicked came calling.

I truly hate that Nadya Suleman felt the need to resort to stupid human tricks that should be forever hidden behind a big top carnival tent.  And no one stopped her.  Not one decent white woman.  And no decent human being of any hue stopped the rotten, despicable man who convinced Nadya Suleman that her next lucrative move should be porn and to demean herself for Wicked Entertainment.

I wish that Nadya Suleman would have set aside her pride and accepted government assistance.  The drain on taxpayer dollars would have been no more burdensome to society than the crackhead and her lil rockheads’ drain on taxpayer dollars.  And the pride Nadya Suleman set aside to display her rabbit energy in porn, I wish that she had found it, dusted it off, and used it to refuse that wicked offer.

So on behalf of Nadya Suleman and all 14 of her beautiful young children, thanks Suze Orman (and I thought you lesbians actually liked women), thanks Oprah, and thanks Dr. Phil for failing to use your considerable and enviable influence to do more to uplift this one little crazy woman.  Above porn.

Everyone who has exploited and abused Nadya Suleman for sport, I hope you’re so very proud of yourself.  Call me crazy, but the way I feel about all enemies of righteousness is the way I feel about you.  You’re all disgusting.