Perhaps orange is the new black.

Dirty laundry.

Knickers with holes in them.

Uncle Susan in the attic.

Aunt Jimmie (with the mustache) in the basement.

Redbone stepson choking cats out back.

Lost girl sobbing in the back room, no trustworthy shoulder to lean on.

In a so-called politically correct world, knickers with holes in them are not on the cover of magazines because they are fashionable and trendy.

Don’t be…

“Orange Is the New Black" transgender actress Laverne Cox is starring in arguably the biggest role of her career — as a real life mainstream icon to millions.” –NY Daily News

Knickers with holes in them are on the cover of magazines because in a morally incorrect world, mainstream media (as always) will never miss an opportunity to glorify, reinforce, and perpetuate negative stereotypes that knickers with (or without) holes in them are the face of deviance.

Shame on you unholy knickers, for your ignorance, for (whether voluntarily or involuntarily) lending a smiling face and a bloody hand to the mainstream media in maintaining racism.  Do you actually believe that the media is oblivious to your defects? Oblivious that you are knickers with holes in them?

In need of mending.

And while they may flap their lying lips to the contrary, America is not happy or proud that you’re coming out deviant.  They’re just happy it’s not them.  Happy to be able to grin at you and look down their noses at you at the same damn time.  Clinging to hypocrisy, most are too much of a coward to say it, but they are wishing and praying that your queer lifestyle would slink away and NEVER become the new normal.  NEVER. NEVER EVER.

***

The hypocritical American public would not rest until OJ Simpson was jailed for...something. Anything would do.

Benjamin Chavis of the NAACP argued that the Time cover made the very handsome OJ Simpson seem like “some kind of animal.”  Journalists suggested, since the mug shot was a news photo, it should never have been altered.

Unfortunately for Time, its rival Newsweek ran the same mug shot on its cover that week, without altering it. The two covers appeared side-by-side on newsstands, making Time’s decision to “blacken” the photo far more visible.  So then, although everybody knows that super-successful knickers are colorless, and them knickers that are super-rough around the edges tend to be “Black” or blacker, Time went on an issued an apology to its readers.  –Hoaxes.org

Diagnosis:  Initially suffering from White People Are the Shit syndrome.  Now exhibiting signs of sinking into a These Hoes Ain’t Loyal depression.

Cure:  None.  Difficult to teach an old arthritic dog new tricks.  Besides, blood and Bengay on knickers leave an especially stubborn stain.

She's taller than most men. She's the winner of the 2008 WNBA Inspiration Award. Of course, she's gay.

Robin Roberts, “Good Morning America” anchor, says of her longtime girlfriend: “Even though Amber is someone who shies away from the spotlight, it was important for me to let people know I have this person in my life.”  Kind of arrogant and selfish of her, huh?

Diagnosis:  Unlovable Freak Syndrome

Cure:  Nawww.  This “dude” is sleeping with the white woman “he” always wanted to be.

Cut as soon as he opened his mouth...to kiss a boy.

There are two Michael Sams.  One, a star defensive end at the University of Missouri who became the first publicly gay player to be drafted into the NFL.  The other, a wheelchair-bound father who’s portrayed as the homophobic man who left his family. One is portrayed as the courageous athlete.  The other is framed as the angry father who’s “a man-and-woman type of guy” who doesn’t “want his grandkids raised in that kind of environment.”  –Sporting News

Before Michael Sam, Sr. knew Vito Cammisano was his son’s boyfriend, he said Vito Cammisano’s handshake “felt like a woman’s.”

“I told JoAnn, ‘You know, Mike ain’t bring his girlfriend but he brought this dude.  That’s kinda funny,’” Michael Sr. said.  “But she swore up and down that he wasn’t gay.  I kept asking Mike was this boy funny?  ‘No, Daddy, no.  Ain’t nothing wrong with Vito,’ he’d say. [Vito] didn’t act gay then either.”  –Inquisitr.com

Diagnosis:  “Why won’t Daddy hug me?” syndrome, exacerbated by a compulsion to please a domineering old man too gry to squeeze love from.

Cure:  Yes.  Bitch, grow the hell up!

No shame in Jason's game. The straight twin brother, po' thang, keeps getting congratulations meant for Jason in the airport. Awkwaaaard.

Jason Collins wore jersey No. 46 in his first game as the NBA’s first openly gay basketball player.  It was the only number the Brooklyn Nets had available.  He had planned to wear No. 98 (the number he wore with Boston and Washington) in honor of Matthew Shepard.  The gay teen’s murder in 1998 was reported as a hate crime and led to the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act.  When Collins’ jersey topped sales at NBAStore.com, the NBA announced that proceeds from those sales and auctions of Collins’ autographed jerseys worn in games would benefit two LGBT supporting charities: The Matthew Shepard Foundation and The Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network.

Diagnosis:  Early onset Middle Age syndrome aggravated by a total lack of talent and the resulting side effect: Lack of Attention.

Cure:  Sure.  Death by old age (overdosing on  enemas or whatever comes first).

She's taller than ALL men (and every one she's ever met). She plays PRO basketball. Of course, she's gay.

Even when Brittney Griner’s life off court was hectic, basketball remained her saving grace.  So when college recruiters came lusting for her, Griner, now a WNBA center for the Phoenix Mercury, saw the chance to at last be free.  She chose Baylor University in Waco, Texas.  Then she soon found, however, her freedom restricted at the conservative Baylor, which has a policy against homosexuality, as well as premarital sex.

“Many people have asked me why I went to Baylor, a private Baptist university, if I knew I was gay,” Griner writes [in her book, In My Skin: My Life On and Off the Basketball Court]. “The most direct answer I can offer is this: I had zero knowledge of the policy.”

According to Griner, the Baylor coaching staff “weren’t going to do anything to discourage” her from joining their program, which included harping on the anti-homosexuality policy.  Therefore Griner looks back at her four years at Baylor with mixed emotions.  Wrapped around the joy of breaking records and amassing numerous accolades was the pain of locking her sexuality “behind closed doors.”  –Out.com

Maybe someone should have climbed on a ladder and whispered in Brittney Griner’s ear: “Get in where you fit in.  No one forced you to attend Baylor.”  In the infamous words of LeBron James, she could have taken her talents elsewhere.

Diagnosis:  Unlovable Freak Syndrome

Cure:  Yes.  Repeat mantra in mirror:  No matter how much I pretend to be a boy, dress like a boy, and walk like a boy, I will never be a boy.  I will never . . . never be a boy.

Taking matters into their own hands, they turn to Islam--sending themselves straight to hell.

A British army soldier, Fusilier Drummer and Machine Gunner Lee Rigby of the Royal Regiment of Fusiliers, was attacked and killed by Michael Adebolajo and Michael Adebowale near the Royal Artillery Barracks in Woolwich, southeast London.  Twenty-five-year-old Lee Rigby was off duty on May 22, 2013 and strolling Wellington Street when he was ambushed.  The two Michaels ran him down with a car, then used fine cutlery to stab and hack him to death.  Confused Brits did not know whether these Africans had murdered someone or just had dinner.  The Michaels dragged Rigby’s body into the road and remained at the scene, knives and meat cleaver in hand, until police arrived.  The Michaels told passers-by they had slaughtered the soldier to avenge the massacre of Muslims by the British armed forces.  Unarmed police arrived at the scene nine minutes after receiving an emergency call and set up a cordon.  Armed po-po arrived five minutes later.  The assailants, armed with gun and cleaver, charged the police, who fired shots, wounding them both.  The Michaels were apprehended and taken to separate hospitals. Both Michaels are British, of Nigerian descent, and were raised as Christians who then converted to Islam.

“Some members of the Muslim community struggle to express themselves and he [Michael Adebolajo] is making his voice heard in blood.” –Radical Islamist Imam Anjem Choudary, Al-Muhajiroun Leader  –Dailymail.co.uk

Diagnosis:  Angry Christian Tired of Waiting for God to Exact Revenge on the Enemy syndrome

Cure:  In your tiny little jail-cell hell, return to Jesus.

Are black folks the face of deviance?