Anatomy or noggin?

“I am the Queen of England.”

                                     “I am Beyonce.”

                                                                          “I am a giraffe.”

              “I am a baby.”

                                     “I am a woman.”

Being.  

Is it in your anatomy or your noggin?

Your first instinct is to look the person over and search for truth.  Then if the person is not the Queen or even Queen Bey or a talking giraffe or a baby (but a man in a giant diaper and play pen) or not even a woman, your first instinct is to think:

“Hmmm, someone has a vivid imagination.”

What’s even weirder is that while the anatomy may not match the noggin-speak, what a person thinks and feels about herself too often, good or bad, becomes her reality.

Such is the tragic case of . . .

King of Sorrow: Depressed, lonely, too much time on his hands . . . a mind focused too far inward is waste.

Bruce Jenner.  If Bruce Jenner says her brain is female.  Believe her.  She’s been telling herself that since she was as tall as Diane Sawyer’s rickety kneecaps.

If you watched “Bruce Jenner: The Interview” with Diane Sawyer last night, an authority on Gender Identity Disorder (who never labeled it a disorder) was adamant about reminding the voyeur (us) minding Bruce’s lady business that her feeling of being other than what her anatomy says she is never goes away.  In other words, that he is a she never leaves the noggin.

Thoughts always dictate behavior.  It’s Biblical.  “For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he,” Proverbs 23:7.

Karma is a bitch. . .named Bruce?

Most people want to be a doctor but they can’t do the math.  Most people would prefer to sing or dance or write or paint lovely pictures.  But without talent or someone willing to get it in their head that you can sing or dance or write or paint lovely pictures, you’re just you . . . wishing.  Pretending, however, is still a highly-cherished form of being.  Our country passes out little golden men called Oscars for it.  It’s the reason why we love Cookie on Empire.

The only true barrier to being anything is lack of ability, lack of opportunity, lack of a viable means, or lack of courage.

Bruce Jenner still has the nutsiness, opportunity, means, and money to make the big boobs of his dreams a reality and an even bigger boob-tube reality show.

So, sure.  It’s all in his head.  It’s where my funky Michael Kors two-tone shoes (that only a fan of Betty Boob would wear) began . . . just like that bottled water was water on somebody’s brain before it found your grateful hand.

Living ruff. Mama calls him Gary. He calls himself Boomer. . .the dog.

Someone wise once said, “Right thinking begins with the words that we say to ourselves.”

Mind is the Master power that molds and makes,
And Man is Mind, and evermore he takes
The tool of Thought, and, shaping what he wills,
Brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills: —
He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass:
Environment is but his looking-glass.

–From the literary essay, As a Man Thinketh, by James Allen (1903), quoting Dhammapada, which sheds light on the effect of karma.

Speaking of bitches: Boomer the Dog, 47, is seeking "puppy girl."

If we believe we will never amount to much, we should go on and lie down like a dog in the dirt. Though we be man, if we believe and obsess about someday braving the journey to womanhood, the universe, like a bridge between nowhere and somewhere, will extend a well-meaning hand.  (Just don’t be surprised when an extra wide pair of Louboutins starts stalking your favorite web pages in the form of google ads.)

The truth of the matter is this: if Bruce Jenner can turn off hellish thoughts of suicide, he can also turn off pretty-in-pink thoughts of owning bras and panties and dresses and tubes of lipstick and nail polish.

We all have fleeting thoughts that are neither beneficial to us nor to the external target of our inner negativity.

"Ever since I can remember, I've liked baby things. When I see babies, I'm jealous; I wish that was me," says Brett, the adult baby, who has a girlfriend named Cat.

Can you imagine what this world would “be” if each person entertained too long his most abominable thoughts?  Can’t you just hear the gunshots ringing out and the smack of slaps to boss’ faces and jail cell doors clanging all around the globe?

Your thought-life can be a very dangerous thing.  Think carefully.  Taste your thoughts for bitterness before you go spitting them out into the eager hand of Fate.