Her good eye on the prize!
Please . . . is there another?
Look, this is not a vote for yet a-nother Bush
if Hillary Clinton’s all we got?!!
But (please) . . . say there is another.
Top Ten Reasons Why Hillary Clinton Cannot Be President
- Though she’s eighty-ish, she’s still too hormonal. At two in the morning when she’s sitting in a pool of her own stress sweat, she will push the button because, well, it might just get her a glass of cold water sooner! But most of all, Bill Clinton is still in the White House and now, all of a sudden, he . . . won’t . . . leave . . . her . . . alone!!! For one second!!!
- She will never be as nice or as pleasant as she pretends to be—not even before Bill first cheated. The woman has no poker face. For the sheer number of sub-intelligent jerks whose super-inflated opinions will smoke the rubber in her granny-pannies in a day, a good president needs an even better poker face.
- The campaign against the Obamas in 2008 proves she was a dirty bird then and will be an older, tougher, drier, more seasoned—that is to say, saltier—dirty bird this time around. And a bird whose feathers get rubbed the wrong way so easily cannot be trusted. Not to mention, with that many wrinkles, she is bound to be dirtier because, like makeup, dirt tends to settle in deep! deep! ditches. Like snuff in a redneck’s lip.
- The campaign against the Obamas in 2008 proves she will turn as racist as the most conservative blue-blooded Republican. To win. At any cost. The wife of the Non-official First Black President made Black people feel stupid for ever thinking Bill wore a halo around his big head that glowed just for them. Talk about getting Lewinsky-ed? Islamic photo shots of the Obamas? Weed photos? Seeking to divide the country on race, religion, gender—or every other entity protected under Title VII. Really Hill? Then, after the sore loss, hanging around the Bushes? Really, Bill?
- Even though President Barack Obama suffered her to be Secretary of State, he knows—but most importantly Black people know—she never liked him. Quitting him and her post proved she never respected either. And still doesn’t . . . because, but for Obama, she would have won. Fact: Hillary hates losing almost as much as she hates Bill.
- President Barack Obama should not be forced to campaign for someone who makes him nauseous and who is still jealous and holding a grudge that a man (of all creatures!!) passed the healthcare bill.
- ISIS could hide behind her hips and never be captured. (Corollary: ISIS could hide in the shadow of her hips, and wearing all that black, never be captured.)
- Before she fell down in her Naturalizers and hit her head, her vision for America was blurred. Thankfully, now that Obama has done all the work that was meaningful to her, all she has to do is sit down on the job like a cop and pretend to protect and serve.
- When she bends the truth, it’s not just politics. It’s old-fashioned, mean-spirited, read-my-Bushy-lips, flat-out lying.
- She may be soul-less. Since the birth of Chelsea, she has not cried once. Rumor has it that it was the birthing pain that caused those authentic human tears (not the sight of her first and only child).
- But, you go, girl! Run, Hillary, run! Please . . . just . . . go!
- Wait, what number is this? Oh, other than alla that, Hill’s a keeper. Just ask Bill. Moreover, to keep from hearing the name Jeb for the next 4-8 years, early predictions suggest votes will be cast for Hill by default by anyone who is under sixty and prefers cities to dirt roads and towns.
- This campaign is going to be ugly in so many ways! Like Armageddon, it may prompt the return of Jesus!
Psst, have we not heard enough already from both the Clintons and the Bushes?
