Archives for : Ben Affleck

Where’s the Beef?!

Batman-vs-Superman

Batman:          “Does this mask make my chin look big?”

Superman:      “I think you mean loooonger.  And why is your voice auto-tuned?”

This Batman vs. Superman movie has caused me to feel like a kid being jerked around with on Jimmy Kimmel.  This can’t be right.   (Sweats bullets.)  Two good guys . . . enemies??   Can’t be!!!   Why would anyone want to make Superman mad at Batman?!!  (Tears up.)  Whose stupid, stupid, stupid idea was this anyway?  (Open mouth, insert pill (but only because I’m waaaay too old to be throwin’ a tantrum).)

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Media Mogul & Songbird Unswathe Tiny Tweets

Babies are cute . . . yeah, yeah, yeah.  Behind that story is the true black story.  The Barbara WaWa  interview (Friday, 10/21/11, 20/20) spent the entire ten minutes further flinging Media Mogul Nick Cannon to the darkest edge of the blinding glow of Mariah Carey’s spotlight.  “They live in her homes,” Barbara says.  “He’s even an executive at Nickelodeon,” Barbara explains.  Poor Nick, under 30 years old and a star in his own right with bank (millions), has to constantly be made to feel less than what he is by these proper-sounding closet racists.

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