Counting his other "wife" of ten years, this may actually be Michael Jordan's third marriage.

Michael Jordan proposed to longtime Cuban American girlfriend Yvette Prieto over the Christmas holiday weekend.  The couple has been together for over three years.  Jordan, owner of the Bobcats, and New York Yankee baseball player Derek Jeter attended a Bobcat game in Charlotte, North Carolina on December 26, 2011.  The following morning, Jordan, his model fiancée, the serial dater Derek Jeter and sweetheart du jour fled the country on MJ’s private G4 set for a South of France cruise on a private yacht for presumably a private celebration.  But should they have?

Marriage ain’t for everybody.  And thankfully, no date has been set.  Remember when Michael Jordan was the superstar basketball player and all he had to do was come home, kiss his three kids, the wife, and be off to his other “wife”?  Has he forgotten how irritating it was hearing all that talk about dental braces, grades, childhood illnesses, interior decorating, and the cost of a decent bi-lingual nanny these days?  Has he conveniently forgotten all the overwhelming responsibilities and time involved in raising a healthy family in a happy home?

Most of all, has Michael Jordan forgotten how refreshing it was (to his cheating soul) to have a “second wife” of ten years?  When he visited his “second wife,” he could avoid Juanita’s nagging about his whereabouts and all that boring family stuff.  When he was with his “second wife,” it was all about him.  Not the kids.  Not the family.  Only Michael.  Michael, Michael, Michael!  Can I rub your feet Michael?  Can I massage your shoulders Michael?  Can I pour you a drink, Michael?  Make you a bath?

His best friends have talked about his selfishness.  Scottie Pippen said, “Michael Jordan is probably the greatest scorer to ever play in the game.  But I may go as far as to say LeBron James may be the greatest player to ever play the game because he’s so potent offensively that not only can he score at will, but he keeps everybody involved.”  ‘Keeping everybody involved’ is code for LeBron James is a team player.  MJ, not so much.  Sir Charles Barkley has spoken often of Michael Jordan’s notorious stinginess, how he regularly withholds tips, neglects ever picking up the tab.  And according to Tiger Woods’ former adviser, it may all be Michael Jordan’s fault that the shamed golfer became a self-indulgent, sex-crazed narcissist because he hung out with the wrong crowd—namely, hard-partying, high-stakes hoopsters Jordan and Charles Barkley.

Yvette Prieto is 32 years old.  Yvette Prieto is Hispanic.  Yvette Prieto will have children.  A busload of undoubtedly adorable, but typically snot-nosed kids.  When she does, doesn’t Michael Jordan know that Yvette won’t have time to be his doting girlfriend anymore?  What?  Derek didn’t remind him how he hated having Juanita split her attention three different tiresome ways before she could attend to him and his special needs?

Michael Jordan and Lovely First Wife Juanita Vanoy

Doesn’t Big Mike know that when Vette has to breast-feed the baby instead of him, that might make him cranky?  Otherwise sensible men have been known to become jealous and feel neglected over such draining maternal obligations.  When he hears that relentless crying sound in the middle of the night, will he remember that it’s not a flashblack to Juanita Vanoy and the kids (Jeffrey Michael, Marcus James, and daughter Jasmine), but the real thing?  How will he escape the suffocation of unholy matrimony this time?  A “fourth wife” to help him forget he’s a father and family man again?

Deep down inside, Michael Jordan may already be wishing.  He may already be wishing, like us, that playa-playa Derek Jeter had slid into him, knocked the ring out of his hand, and possibly some sense black into his head.