Is your view of you distorted?
Happy New Year, everyone! I may as well confess it. I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. How many years can you attempt to lose weight for the first three weeks of the year only to go back to being the you who rules you?
New Year’s resolutions are rarely realistic. That’s why I’m not much into New Year’s resolutions. I’m not into failure. I’m allergic to failure. I’m into lifelong resolutions. I work out regularly—not because I have to—but because even though my heart has been broken more times and in more ways than I care to recall, I want my heart to know that if no one else cares about it, I still do.
More exciting than pretending for a few weeks that we are who we are not would be if we actually looked deeper and attempted to do what can be realistically maintained. The one problem that can be remedied nearly instantly is to rid yourself of some of the drama in your life.
There are people who date several people at one time. No problem. Dating is cool. The problem is that they date people who think that they are in a monogamous relationship (of some sort) with them. People who date every body at one time will tell you that they hate drama when it is obvious to everybody else that they not only enjoy it, but seem to be addicted to the stuff. To everyone else, they seem to thrive on drama—the word “thrive” being used loosely, of course.
People who do not like drama date honestly. They date one person at a time. Or, they date several people at a time, with all parties in agreement.
Let’s say you have one or more children and no spouse. You say that you would like to one day marry. What you can do today is begin to make yourself more like the person you’d realistically like to attract. Do you need more education? A better job? A simple makeover? Birth control . . . because is anyone realistically seeking to marry someone who has never been married who has enough children to fill a daycare?
How are you spending your time? Have you taken a moment to concentrate on your wellbeing? Are you texting, sexting, facebooking, tweeting, gossiping, hating, or sabotaging yourself out of being all that you can realistically be or having all that you could realistically have? If so, don’t be surprised if the stranger you’re sleeping with turns out to be you.
There are women who believe they want what someone else has—even when it’s not realistic. Women like these will meet a “man” who has three or four children by three or four different “women.” Women like these will find out who his other “women” are and fall into believing (because, apparently, she is special) that the man should be faithful to her. Sometimes, just for the sake of competition, she will not only shoot herself in the foot by dating him. But she will gladly put a bullet between her own eyes by giving birth to his fourth or fifth child.
Is this you? Women like you don’t need a man as much as you need to get your mouth off these smokin’ guns committing crimes against the institution of family all over town. Women like you don’t need a man as much as you need a good pair of running shoes, a self-help book, and some plain old common sense.
With celebrities like Kim Kardashian never finishing what they start and starting anew right in the middle of what still is, people who seem to have common sense seem to be confused about the very things that should be plain old ordinary common sense. Birth control works with the spouse, but not with the boyfriend? I cannot imagine being married to one man and pregnant by another.
Rich or poor, slop is for pigs. Rich or poor, pigs are pigs. Pigs have little regard for what is right and wrong. “Right,” nowadays, is whatever the pig feels like doing “right now.” These days, “wrong” is pretty much non-existent.
Mothers let their children run through your home, open your fridge, and stomp on your couch with winter boots and refuse to say one chastising word to their little darlings. When you do, they look at you as if you smokin’ that stuff.
I’m not old-fashioned, but I miss the days when a little stigma went a long way to curb shameful, if not foolish, behavior.
In the New Year, I wish that people would have more respect for themselves. Then, maybe, they could find a way to have more respect for others.
I wish that people would live their realistically ideal lives. This is not the life you would live if you had a million dollars or weighed less. This is the life you could live right now being exactly who you are with nothing more than a thimbleful of self-respect.
Realistically, you could live with less drama and be happy. Sure you could. Living with less drama does not make you boring. It makes you mature.
Realistically, you could finish what you start before starting anew. Juggling too many projects, lovers, or ambitions at one time does not make you interesting. It just makes you tired . . . in every way. Maybe even a little crazy. Maybe even a little nasty and disease-ridden.
Realistically, we could all do better in small but meaningful ways. And it should not take the start of a brand new year for us to realize it.
Whatever, Man!
Category: Seasoned Bites
Tags:cultural commentary, Happy New Year!, Kim Kardashian, realistic living
Is your view of you distorted?
Holliday Vann
...is a Master Writer who is crawling, reaching with French-manicured fingertips to touch the lowest hem of Toni Morrison's garments in hopes of her name one day being whispered glowingly in the same sentence as Her name.
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