“There is none that doeth good, no not one.” Psalm 14:3

In July, investigators searching Subway darling Jared Fogle’s home with a fine-tooth comb and flashlights uncovered a pedofile lurking in Zionsville.  Travel records and text messages rained down on the former Subway spokesman like onions on a sandwich.  When the public learned that Jared used business trips to cover out-of-town $ex encounters with underage pro$titute$, not only did Subway (who found lovable Jared a little too kid friendly) regret breaking bread with him, the binky nearly tumbled out of rapper Lil Jon’s mouth.

Following Russell Taylor’s arrest, friend and former director of the Jared Foundation, the Monster from the Subway wrote:

“I was shocked to learn of the disturbing allegations against Mr. Taylor.  Effective immediately, the Jared Foundation is severing all ties with Mr. Taylor.”

Jared Fogle has since pled guilty to child p0r-n0g-ra-fee and underage $ex charges in a federal courthouse in downtown Indianapolis.

Reality TV star Josh Duggar (of the Duggars who are known for being devout Christians who don’t believe in birth control and whose children follow strict “hand-holding only” rules—That Josh Duggar), after apologizing for molesting girls as a teenager, including his sisters, that very same Josh Duggar is now scratching and clawing his way up from another hole he’s dug for himself.

“While espousing faith and family values,” Josh Duggar said, “I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife.” 

The show, Josh Duggar, the 19 kids and perhaps those yet to count have since been canceled—when God knows they needed the money. But sadly, Josh Duggar was not the sole American tempted by Ashley Madison whispering, “Life is short. Have an affair.”  The light of day shone on 32 million others caught crawling up out of the dirt with him.

Awhile ago, there was controversy surrounding rapper Shawty Lo being the center of a reality show which would exploit the shameful fact that he sired 11 kids by 10 women (and counting) who were willing to live with him like an old rich rapper in a Nike Air Jordan shoe who had so many kids he didn’t know what to do.

The fallout didn’t fall from Shawty Lo failing to feed his village.  Black folks chained to wedding bands, commitment, the responsibilities of family, and the ideals of creating a stable home life for younguns detested the smell of so many dirty diapers being aired all at once.  That Shawty Lo and all his baby mamas had gone ghetto nose-blind to the stench of their not so kid-friendly dysfunction left the more upright-standing Negroes fanning themselves and crying “Foul!”  To glamorize 19 kids and counting was one thing, but 11 kids by 10 different women was 9 hoes too many.  And—reality being too real—caused Oxygen to come up for air and draw a chalk line around airing this mess.

“I came to be one of the largest drug dealers to come from the Atlanta/Bankhead area and I started havin’ kids.  When the money came, a lot of women came,” said Shawty Lo. 

So, in reality, so to speak, none of this was “for real for real” Shawty’s fault.

The hypocrisy is not that Jared Fogle, Josh Duggar, or Shawty Lo is trying to sling more beef than Wendy’s.

What makes the two-faced demon in this tale of American pop culture and hypocrisy especially ugly is that America is hell-bent on exploiting the positive attributes of some people and the negative attributes of others when in the end, none of them is perfect.  No, not one.  America is addicted to extremes.  The littlest people.  The biggest people living a giant life.  The tiniest waist above the biggest butt.  The girliest boys.  The most holier-than-thou Christians who refuse birth control (in this day and age).  The flashiest, worldliest pastors.  The sluttiest preacher kid.  Cheating politicians who call for the impeachment of cheating Presidents.  The most racist politicians who have the red-white-and-blue balls to have birthed children of color.

And we thought Honey Boo Boo’s mama was bad?  Honey chile, puh-leez.  America also has an extreme hypocrisy problem.  And it didn’t begin with Josh or Shawty Lo.  Just ask Jared.