Are these the new adventures of Old Christine?
Ever since Almighty GLOD liberated womankind, attention-starved women have been able to hold their heads high and smile their widest smiles.
US Weekly: "He's Dating the Nanny!"
Ever since GLOria AllreD, also known as GLOD, assured them “You’re not married to his wife, He is!,” adulterous women have been freed from shame. The shame that normally lowers the head of wrong-doers, the shame they know they will one day have to embrace, in the era of Gloria Allred, this healthy shame escapes the likes of Christine Ouzounian, the nanny whose hand we learned was likely rocking more than Ben Affleck’s cradle.
Now that women behaving badly have found GLOD, pretty-ish homewreckers like Christine Ouzounian don’t shout in angry indignation “Leave me alone! I’m no homewrecker! Get off my property!”
No, in anticipation of their coming out to cameras rolling, for the flash, they bleach their hair, peroxide teeth, tan skin, infuse false sunshine on every surface on the outside to hide the corruption festering within, all for a lousy 15 minutes of fame.
Is Ben Affleck Dating Former Nanny Christine Ouzounian?
If you believe in GLOD, there is no shame in being fame-hungry, in being the other woman, or a homewrecker. There is no need to cower, duck, and dodge.
Chin up! Hand out! Great are the rewards of the wicked. A hefty check awaits you. A morning show! A late night show! Run swiftly and get yourself a publicist. Because you have no real talent, you could ghostwrite a book and “earn” six figures!
Or more, imagine this: You—Christine Ouzounian—starring in your own reality show.
“Oh, thank GLOD! Integrity, not needed. Morals, none required. Talent, who needs talent? At the altar of GLOD, bring not the blood of goats just the bull. Even Gloria Allred knows you have no real gifts.”
"Yes, my dear, GLOD is a woman." --Gloria Allred, defending loose women and lifting them to infamy since 1599.
That a woman has no decency or respect for herself or other women, their children, or their relationships, though appalling, is irrelevant if you worship at the feet of GLOD.
That a woman hired by another woman in good faith to support her in the care of her children would go from kissing the kids to kissing her husband, though appalling, is just an unfortunate set of circumstances for the wife. In this case, Jennifer Garner. But only emotionally. When the wife finally dries her eyes, in the era of Gloria Allred, she, too, will see that there’s a fortune to be had once she puts her trust in GLOD.
Wrong is right. And, right is wrong. In the era of Gloria Allred, the boundaries of decency have been blurred to the point of nonexistence.
