With-zout ze common enemy, Eugène, what fun was zair in ze marry-ah-jer?

Emasculated?  Is zat all?  Haha Haha, oh my, ha, ha…

Après ze shoque initiale of news of ze Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez split subsided, in hindsight, perhaps ze writing was already on ze divorce papiers.

Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez both seem to be très, très impassioned people.  Ze world might say “ze hotte heads.”  Au début (zat is to say “In the beginning”), the couple, like deux nations, had a common enemy—which is goot for any decent alliance.  Peut-être, after the fists and legal motions stopped fly-eeng, all settled down avec le premier baby daddy, Gabriel Aubry, surrounding cus-to-dee of daughter Nahla.  Maybe after Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez subdued ze green-eyed mo-del, zay looked at each oth-zair and realized zay no longer had any zing in common but un jolie bébé.

Olivier, who is Française, pacques less puissance étoiles (zat is to say “star power”) dans les États Unis.  He probably juste wants to returnez à  la France where his star can revive and shine bright like ze diamonds.  Ze courts likely have Gabriel Aubry chained to Mademoiselle Berry’s shoulder like a Chanel bag parceque he needs to stay close to bébé to stay close to Maman like a burrowing tick on Berry’s une peau berry parfaite (zat is to say “very flawless skin”).

So, independent of what People Magazine’s sources tweet and re-peep about Olivier Martinez feeling ze shrivel in his trou-zairs as an emasculated homme, when ze drama settles, true amours must to get zair hands dir-tee and fight for zair relationship, marry-ah-jer, and zair bébés.  Marriage, ce n’est pas juste about slaying ze egos of green-eyed monsters foreign; Mais non, it’s about slaying ze ones zat pop up like ze muffins at home!

Unfortunately, Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez, like much much people who birth ze bébés into relationships frivolous, give up immediatement after concluding zair was no zing zair in ze first place but a movie set, goot lighting and, of course, loost.  When ze make-believe is o-vair and ze fantasy of happily-ever-after with-zout ze work fades, marriage proves Berry Berry difficile for ze Berry Berry pretty, Berry Berry entitled, and ze Berry Berry self-absorbed.

Usually, it’s juste goot and bye! . . . which is to say, “Like last year’s fashions, whatev-air, I’m out!”