My big black daddy would have torn through Instagram, chucking spears, to snatch me up outta that bed!
Fathers, go get your daughters. So what if she’s over 21, making her own paper, and living under her own roof? If she’s a virgin, go get her and secure a bedazzled bracelet just above the ankle-bone to detect if she travels outside the designated perimeters of work or school. But whatever you do, snatch your daughter from the world and lock her in her room. Because if you know she’s a virgin, that devil who licks his big red lips whenever she’s around knows she’s a virgin. And wet behind the ears. With milk on her breath. He can hear the goo-goo-ga-ga in her voice. He knows she’s innocent and gullible—a newborn to love—and highly susceptible to bustin’ an awkward virgin move.
Consider the fairytale romance of Jordin Sparks and Jason DeRulo, which was doomed from the start when Jordin Sparks fell for the old engagement ring trick.
At first she was feeling like they were a match made in iTunes heaven. Now she’s probably just feeling like . . .
