Ever get that not so fresh feeling? In a world of “No scratches, no hickeys, all I want is a quickie,” I did. But it really wasn’t my fault. I had been drinking from the vine and I inadvertently (or somehow on purpose) got pulled from The Fish into a dirty puddle of UM. Urban Music. Feeling defiled, like a Levite, I had no choice but to go out back and sacrifice one he-goat, a half rack of gourmet lamb, and two organic turtledoves. (Without spot or blemish, of course.) Ignorant and godless, my neighbors merely imagined that I was barbecuing.